Wily Irish Mammy’s top housekeepers gripes

Wily Irish Mammy is a wise and wizened cleaning wiz. When it comes to housekeeping, she is a real cloigeann mór (Irish for ‘clever clogs’) but even she has her moments.

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Housekeeping can be a thankless task and oftentimes individuals can feel undervalued and under-appreciated. Occasionally, even Wily Irish Mammy needs to let rip and this month, she is back with her top eight housekeeping gripes…

1. On yer whan: “She had a face on her, to turn milk sour.”

Mammy abhors rude and unpleasant guests; you know, the type who only want to find something to moan about or a reason to treat hospitality staff like servants. Don’t they realise they are on holiday? People should relax and enjoy their holiday, not nit-pick at the cleaner!

2. On clothes: “They hung it up on Paddy’s nail.”

Mammy has only minutes to clean a room and finds there is nothing more annoying than guests who leave their case or clothes on the floor. This slows her down as she must vacuum around their stuff, and she wonders if they think about the filth they could catch off the carpet.

3. On the idlers: “If me ma was alive today, she’d turn in her grave.”

Other cleaners who take shortcuts infuriate Mammy because if a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Mammy always notices when a sloven has cleaned a room because she ends up picking up the slack.

4. On the scruffy yokes: “That sand wont shift itself.”

Guests who leave trash in the hallway get Mammy really riled. A food tray is okay but general rubbish and beer cans should be disposed of properly; down the rubbish shoot or find a bin. A dirty hallway reflects so terribly on a room attendant and ruins the overall impression of the establishment.

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5. On helpers: “You’ve made your bed now lie in it.”

To those guests who think they are helping by making the bed – newsflash you are not! Mammy says for heaven’s sake leave it to her. She also wishes guests would tell her if they stain or soil the sheets, or leave them in a bundle with a note, so they can be soaked immediately.

6. On families: “It’s nearly two o’clock and not a child in the house washed.”

Mammy disapproves of guests who let their kids run wild and allow them to make an unholy mess, just because someone else is cleaning. It is so disrespectful! Put some manners on them.

7. On check out: “Stop acting the maggot!”

Mammy wishes guests would behave better, especially the Do Not Disturb lingerers; guests who leave the sign out on check out day. This ruins Mammy’s day, as she must have the rooms ready for her next guests! All the rooms have to be ship-shape within her shift and sometimes this takes the patience of a saint.

8. On misery: “So tight, he still has his holy communion money.”

And, finally, Mammy can’t stand guests who forget to tip their housekeepers. Generally, Australians do not expect a tip but when guests leave an awful mess and Mammy has gone above and beyond her duties, she deserves a tip!

Despite her gripes and woes, Wily Irish Mammy always looks on the bright side. She loves her job and it can be very rewarding. A big shout out to every hard-working cleaner and housekeeper out there: “As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.”

Please send us your biggest housekeeping gripes…

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